Dear Spammer – Your Spam Is Useless

Dear Spammer - can of spam

Dear Spammer,

There is something I will never understand about your spam, it just gets deleted, so what is the point?  I am sure some bloggers are not as proactive in cleaning spam, but the ranking on their spam filled site means they are not helping you.  Most people recognize spam and don’t click it, in fact most of them scream “don’t click me” – so why do you do it?

For the record:

  • I do not need your SEO plugin, you came across my site, I am sure others will too (plus, I question your SEO methods if you think spam is useful).
  • I also do not need the many drugs you are trying to sell me – although after the week I have had…
  • I am super grateful for the comments on how useful my posts are, but if you are going to tell me there are spelling errors, maybe spell errors correctly.
  • I am happy with the layout of my blog, no matter how much you think it would be better with more images.
  • I do love shoes and bags, but you can keep your knock offs.
  • I am so glad PayPal worked out I have a blog to contact me to let me know in the comments that my account is compromised – that is some customer service!
  • I don’t need a payday loan, but if I did, I would not get one from China!

I am fully aware that most of your spam is automated but really, would it not drive more traffic to your site if you posted a few relevant comments with just one link as your site?  I mean, I posted a picture of my cat.  I may not have realized your comment was spam if you just said cute kitty and your link went to whatever you are selling.  But “Buy XYZ drug” as your name with 10 links in your comment?  Akismet is going to spam you before I even get a chance to read it, forget my few readers (who are just not that into you).

I know dealing with spam is just part of blogging, but really, I hate captchas and do not want to add one for people to deal with the repeated typing of a captcha you are 99% sure is correct (I am sure one of them hates me and is just trying to get me to fill in multiple ones) but really, what are these spammers gaining?

photo credit: Jamie jbcurio/flickr

6 Replies to “Dear Spammer – Your Spam Is Useless”

  1. Thank you for the chuckle on my quiet Saturday night in. I found myself having similar thoughts after clearing out 67 spam comments from my spam filter the other day.

    1. Tea & Nail Polish says: Reply

      I just did my work one, 600 spam comments and 90% of them not in English

  2. Look at it this way – you know you’ve made it in the blog world when you HAVE enough traffic to get spammers? 😉 But yes, it’s baffling indeed 🙂

  3. i get the same thing on my blog it drives me nuts sometimes its hard to define if its a real comment or not

  4. Victoria Ess says: Reply

    Haha this was a funny open letter! It sucks you have to deal with this!

  5. Allison Whitmore says: Reply

    What a great post!!! I just feel bad for the people who, unlike us, trust everything they see on the internet and fall for these scams. Happens more often than you might think. 🙁

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